Appreciating Music
I am sitting here at a Café for dinner. On the way over here I was listening to opera on my CD player. I have never listened to opera on purpose before this week, and I really haven’t given any thought to opera. My friend, Penny, has been giving me piano lessons. Recently, she gave me a CD of piano music, hoping to encourage my piano practice (Penny is a lover of opera). The last two songs on the CD are of opera. I suspect she had an intuitive sense that I might like it. Well, I love it!
While driving home very late last night, I was listening to Jazz on a local radio station. I was in love with the music.
What’s been interesting, and this is the first time I’ve experienced this, is that I am noticing that simply thinking of the music is a bit emotional. In the past few minutes I’ve noticed that simply reflecting on the opera I was listening to during my drive over here or the jazz pieces I was listening to last night brings tears to my eyes. What the heck is this about! It certainly can’t be about the words. There were no words connected to the jazz pieces I listened to last night. And the opera is in Italian for heaven’s sake!
Another thought that came to me is how nice it is to share with others. It is particularly nice to share with someone who shares an appreciation for the same thing. On this thought I am present to an appreciation for the quite voice of nature and the eye that can see the love expressed in the details of our natural environment. And how much I enjoy sharing this appreciation with others.
I am here sitting alone. The music is not playing, and yet it is. And I am in love with the music.
Appreciate Your Life
I cannot take credit for the following post. A version of this article was sent to me long ago. I’ve revised it slightly and do not recall the original source ~ Chuck
Appreciate Your Life
Learning it is difficult because our society teaches us about good and bad, right and wrong. We are programmed to believe in good and bad. If we have the things we want we are happy. If we don’t have what we want we begrudge our lives.
There are several things that prevent us from being productive and joyful. Two of them are: A mistaken view of our life (we don’t know who we are), and second we place too much attachment on material things.
We embrace our mistaken identities so deeply that they become our reality. Appreciation does not refer to things outside us. Appreciate your own life first. Appreciate when you fail. Appreciate when you try and try again and still fail. Appreciate when you embarrass yourself.
When we were young no one taught us how to walk. We were true to our own nature and learned ourselves. But as we get older, people (parents, teachers, etc.) wanted to control us, and we got angry. Be like a tree. A tree stays a tree no matter if you kick it or curse at it. It is in harmony with itself. It doesn’t care what you do. It is just being a tree. But this is not the same with humans. We do not live in harmony with our true nature, and we are swayed by the opinions and thoughts of those outside of us.
Our life has unbelievable power and wisdom, but we don’t trust ourselves and let it come forth. We always look for validation outside, and we will never get it. If we validate ourselves, we will be able to influence everything around us.
Here’s a challenge for the next month: “No matter where my life is at, I will pray with the determination that I will turn this situation around within one month. I’ll take the responsibility to make it happen. And in this one month, I’ll create the biggest benefit of my life.”
To turn my life around in one month:
- Perceive the truth of your life.
- Take responsibility for creating the greatest benefit you’ve ever had.
Everything begins and ends with you.
Don’t pray to overcome an obstacle. Rather, pray to perceive your own truth.
What does it mean to appreciate another person? It means that we have no judgments about them. No matter what the conditions, we will do anything for that person’s happiness. Don’t use anger as a form of judgment. It is fine to get angry, but don’t judge another person’s life just because today we are feeling anger towards them.
Being enlightened does not mean we are perfect. It means we always turn the negative into a benefit.
We usually think of Appreciation as something outside of us. We appreciate our possessions or what someone does for us. But appreciation is for our own life. We strive to appreciate the essence of our life, whatever we are going through in the moment.
We are all programmed from a very early age—by our families and teachers and TV, etc.—to believe that we are a certain person. But we have an incorrect view of our life.
Our goal is to Develop A Correct View Of Our Life.
There is a saying, “He who perceives the greatness of his life is a Buddha. He who doesn’t is a fool.”
Pray to realize that you are enlightened just as you are.
When we perceive who we are, we will naturally impact our environment.
It is not easy to appreciate your life, because your life does not want to appreciate itself. Just try praying for fifteen minutes exclusively focusing on appreciating your life. Your mind will get distracted and you will think about everything but appreciation. But strive to stay focused on appreciation. Just as you are.
In our minds we judge our lives. We see part of our self as good and part as bad. We believe we have to push everything to the positive side to be happy. But you cannot do that. We are just who we are. There is no such thing as Good human being/Bad human being. There is only being human. Just as we are.
We are all just human beings. And sometimes we will do terrible things. Good and bad exists because we are human. The only thing our stupidity proves is that we are human. And there is nothing wrong with that. Being enlightened means that we take the negative and turn it into a benefit.
When we take a negative circumstance and use it to validate a negative belief about our self we are in misery. Because you haven’t got the job you’ve always wanted is not proof that you are a terrible and worthless person. It is an opportunity to prove how wonderful you are as a human being.
We are all dysfunctional somehow, and we believe it is the cause of all our suffering. We buy into this belief so that we have a reason to fail. We always have to have a reason to fail. Then negativity only perpetuates itself and gets deeper. Our enlightenment exists inside our dysfunction, too. If we manifest our enlightened state and appreciate our life, then our “dysfunction” will become our greatest benefit.
Everything about our character is unbelievably wonderful. We think we have to fix what we believe to be broken, but in reality nothing is broken.
We need to find out how wonderful and powerful our life is. It doesn’t have to take years. We can do it in one night if we really appreciate our self.
Appreciation does not mean that you accept the circumstances. Again, it is not about something outside of you. Appreciation has three qualities:
- No Matter what happens you do not betray your dreams/goals/self.
- No Matter what happens, you don’t make any judgments about yourself.
- No matter what the situation in your life, you must turn it around.
If you are angry, make it the function of your enlightened state of life. Whatever quality is fundamental to your life, pray and take action to appreciate it and it will bring out unbelievable power.
Five Frontier Conversations
I came across the following five questions a couple of years ago while working on an event in which we were considering the poet David Whyte as a possible speaker. These questions were offered by David as focal points for our conversations at the event. These questions, especially the first one, are worth visiting.
- (The private conversation) What is the courageous conversation I am refusing to have with myself, in my own heart and mind with regard to my work, and the present life threshold on which I find myself? What is the courageous conversation I am not having with my partner or spouse, my children or loved ones?
- What is the courageous conversation I am not having in my immediate workgroup, or with my immediate superiors, associates and subordinates? What is the courageous conversation I can personally initiate to start things moving in this immediate circle?
- What is the courageous conversation we are not having between the different divisions and international cultures within our organization? What prevents us from taking another step in working together?
- What is the courageous conversation we are not having with our clients or the societies of which they are a part? This in effect is the future, now, as the currents of people and events flow around the organizational vessel and the endeavors of the individuals who make it up.
- What is the courageous conversation we are not yet having with the unknown future, with the world that lies over the horizon, but has not yet been fully articulated?
The first question, though asked privately, is an essential foundation for all the other courageous conversations. It is very difficult to be passionate or authentic about the outer, more abstract questions, if a leader has neglected his or her own primary questions with regard to work and the part their work plays now in the particular drama of their own story.
Beyond Difference: Acknowledging our shared culture
It is important to celebrate our heritage, be it cultural, ethnic or spiritual. It is also important to respect those of others. However, only acknowledging what makes us different from others, while ignoring the common source of life that connects us all, leads to divisiveness rather than harmony. Our true identity is to be found beneath the surface.
Daisaku Ikeda discusses idea of a shared identity in his poem ‘Sun of Jiyu Over a New Land: “When neighbors distance themselves / from neighbors, continue your / uncompromising quest / for your truer roots / in the deepest regions of your lives…. Here is the home, the dwelling place / to which humankind traces / its original existence — / beyond all borders, / beyond all differences of gender and race. / Here is a world offering true proof of our humanity”
The Chinese character for “person” (ren) shows two people leaning on each other. Some consider it to be one of the most important words in Chinese thought. The character for the quality of “humanity” (ren) is made of the characters for “person” and “the number two,” meaning two people who face each other, two people communicating, two people who love each other. In other words, there is no such thing as an isolated individual.
Each of us is linked together into a single living entity, and those links are not limited to the human world. They extend to the natural world and the cosmos, and all existence as one organic whole.
The solution to a problem is found within the problem. Transforming issues of human rights and racism entails our having trust in the transformative power of life. For life is what we all share in common. When we develop and act upon this trust, the most difficult challenge can become an opportunity to transform issues of division into creative powers harmony and peace.
Entrepreneur Spirit
~ Vincent van Gogh
Most of us will greet the New Year with at least some degree of uncertainty. Predicting where we will be in 5-10 years is increasingly difficult. Many of today’s industries and careers will vanish, while new ones, yet unknown, will emerge – transforming our past into a new future. In such an age who will step into these uncertain waters?
A calm voice stirs in the heart of the entrepreneur. Few people will listen to this voice. Of the few who do, even fewer will continue in the face of adversity. Yet, this age more than ever calls for such a spirit and effort.
Yes, the waters may appear dangerous. In a society preoccupied with seeking comfort there are a few who choose to live the challenge. When we step into these unknown waters we place the innermost reaches of our life in public view. Our strengths become visible – along with our frailties. We would prefer to keep our weaknesses hidden for none to see. Yet, seeking to live fully requires the full expression of life – strengths and frailties.
As we look to the New Year, and this day, let courage lead us through these new waters. Realize that we are exploring new worlds of possibility as humanity has always done. As we face these new challenges, and opportunities, trust that our genuine efforts will contribute to our family and community.
You Do Make a Difference
A few years ago, I was having lunch with a few participants in a training program I was attending in
I asked her, “do you like the work you do?”
She replied, “Oh, yes. I work for a wonderful company, but the work I do doesn’t make any difference. I want to do something that makes a difference in the world.”
Her timing could not have been better. Her remarks brought to mind an experience I had two weeks prior to this event.
I shared of a recent visit to company. I was waiting in the lobby for an appointment with the CEO. As I was waiting, the receptionist began to talk with me, and I recall her bright and enthusiastic voice.
She was preparing Christmas presents to send to clients. She mentioned that each year her company has a local artist create something that they can send to clients. She then shared the gift they had been sent the previous year. It was a collection of bookmarkers. Each one had a beautiful illustration from nature on one side that reflected a poem on the other side of the bookmark. She then gave one of the packets of bookmarks. I happily accepted the gift! Now, years later, I am still enjoying those beautiful bookmarks.
The receptionist then went on to share about the wonderful people she worked with.
The highlight of my appointment was the conversation with that receptionist. She really made a difference in my life that day. In fact, that receptionist continues to be an inspiring example of the difference a healthy conversation, and workplace, can make.
I shared this story at the lunch table and suggested to the women who wanted to do work that makes a difference that perhaps the real difference to make is in the interactions she has with people throughout the day at her present job.
Our lunch concluded and we all went back to our training program.
A year or two later I was in
I thanked her for sharing. As I left, the thought came to me “perhaps we are a little too focused on trying to make a difference. Perhaps we are already making a difference and that the real difference lies in our daily interactions with those close to us?
A thirst for Authenticity
It has been some time since I last posted to this blog. Life gets busy and it’s easy to neglect. There is another reason, perhaps more accurate. I have considered many times of writing every week. Yet, tendencies to be a perfectionist or concerns about what to write stop me. These are average person concerns.
My thoughts of late have been on sustainable effort. Interestingly enough I find myself often working with people who have too much on their plate. People who tend to take on a huge amount of responsibility. I look for common themes in the work I do and the people I work with most frequently. They are not only busy and responsible people – they are people who take on significant responsibility because they care.
We live in a time of much uncertainty. Concerns for personal welfare are rampant and not surprising. Yet, in the midst of so much uncertainly, greed and fear of loss, it’s refreshing to be in the presence of people who have a genuine sense of service, responsibility and stewardship.
The world is thirsty for these qualities. It is just for this reason that we thirst for authenticity. It’s as if those who live authentically and courageously provide hope for all of us.
Appreciative Practice
We are challenged to live contributive lives—to make progress in the face of the challenges before us.
Essential to success and fulfillment in life is appreciation and gratitude. The qualities of appreciation and gratitude are often dismissed. “I want results not appreciation,” the business owner told me.
For several years I’ve conducted informal and formal interviews with people who I see as living fulfilling and successful lives. A consistent theme that shows in these interviews is that appreciation is one of the most important qualities to their success.
It may be relatively easy to appreciate our life or another’s when life is going well. We generally like sharing our appreciation with a close friend who is always there for us. It is much more difficult to be appreciative or share an appreciation when faced with a difficult issue or person.
Being appreciative in the midst of the storm takes courage.
Appreciation is a skill. One in which you can practice at any time.
Here’s a three-step practice for developing the skill of appreciation:
VOLUNTARY ATTENTION (NOTICE)
Pay attention to your immediate environment. What do you notice? Your attentiveness skill will increase as you practice being attentive.
INTEREST
Express interest in what you notice. Again, this is a skill that when practiced will grow.
APPRECIATION
State it as so. Share your appreciation of what you notice. This is the action piece of the appreciative practice.
LOVE
The practice of appreciation builds affinity. As you practice, you will experience an increase in love.
IMPORTANT POINTS
• Attention must be genuine
• All power begins with focus of attention
• It’s the Act not the thought
• Don’t limit discomfort
• Average people are discomforted
• Risk embarrassment
So many people are not attended to. We need to attend to one another.
You don’t have to wait until there is something to appreciate to practice. In fact, you can start with what’s right in front of you. I’ve practiced this process while driving in my car and noticing the discarded tire tread on the side of the road. I then expressed interest and appreciation for the fact that the tire was on the side of the road—not on my windshield!
Your sense of affinity and connection with others will grow as you step out and practice appreciation.
Relationships: A Buddhist Perspective
Our environment reflects our inner state of life. Everyone exists in relationship. Our relationships serve as a mirror for our life, and an opportunity for transformation and healing. Through developing fulfilling and enduring relationships our well-being, health, and happiness will be greatly improved.
The Chinese character for “person” (ren) shows two people leaning on each other. Some consider it one of the most important words in Chinese thought. The character for the quality of “humanity” (ren) is made of the characters for “person” and “the number two,” meaning two people who face each other, two people communicating, two people who love each other. In other words, there is no such thing as an isolated individual.
Each of us is linked together into a single living entity, and those links are not limited to the human world. They extend to the natural world and the cosmos, and all existence as one organic whole.
Buddhism regards the relations and mutual interdependence of things and human beings as more important than the individual view of their existence. This view is linked to the teaching of dependent origination.
This perspective begins with treasuring our own life, then the individuals around us, finally extending outward to encompass all people. This is not to be viewed linearly, however. Treasuring ourselves exist simultaneously with treasuring the people and environment around us.
Developing fulfilling relationships begins with accepting full responsibility for our life and our role in developing relationships with other people and the natural world. To heal our life we engage in the world around us. We work for the happiness of others, with the awareness that supporting others contributes to our own happiness and well-being. When we forget this, our efforts to support others can have us begrudging our own life.
Sufferings can arise from “looking outside of oneself” for the cause or the solution to problems. Through our day-to-day efforts, we come to see that the relationships we have formed are a reflection of our own state of life.
Erroneous beliefs about our self and others, which lead to suffering, can often be traced to what Buddhism calls the three poisons of greed, anger and foolishness. In particular, anger, compounded of equal measures of arrogance and self-centeredness, is destructive to relationships. Anger can lead to strife and conflict—internally, among people, groups, nations, and the natural world.
It is important that when we look at the condition of anger and arrogance that we do not judge either our self or others for experiencing these thoughts.
We all have an innate desire to make a difference and end suffering in the world. Anger often arises from a sense of helplessness at our being able to do away with this suffering. Through our compassionate actions, we encourage hope in our self and others. Compassion suggests that we not judge anyone. Rather, we look to GIVING COURAGE to possibility and progress.
In the book “The Buddha in Your Mirror” the authors refer to three kinds of relationships:
Independent
The stand-alone self, we are in control. The strong, confident self, however, can easily become arrogant and isolated. The arrogant person will be unable to sustain fulfilling relationships.
Dependent
People give respect and love, but not freely; strings are attached. Your happiness is dependent upon another’s behavior—upon his or her validation or your worthiness of being loved. Depending upon another to validate that we are worthy of love gives that person control over our emotions and self-esteem. We have given up our power.
Contributive
We work to develop a strong self-identity and the ability to be happy inwardly. Standing upon the firm foundation of our own happiness, we can then nurture contributive, giving relationships, relationships in which we give our love freely without attachments and expectations. We are not needy of others. Nor are we addicted to the other.
It is not as though we first develop this strong self before contributing to others. We take on-going action to bring forth this life condition through engaging in compassionate practice—compassion for our self and others.
Departure
A five-year-old boy
suitcase in hand
departing.
While the family
stood with their camera
to capture the event.
All my life I listened to my friends
They said, “You were running away
something must have happened.”
And I believed all those stories
But I was not running away
No!
I was not running away!
This young boy was departing
The beginning of the quest
Traveling, exploring, discovering.
Eighteen years old
and a new departure
To South Carolina
where blacks and whites
met in anger and hate.
I searched beyond the color of our skin
and the anger in our voice
My eyes touched briefly
on the spirit within.
I traveled to the dirty beaches of New Jersey
and the noisy streets of New York City
The hurried voices and heavy accents.
Touching briefly
on the spirit within.
A new departure
Okinawa Japan
Where the warm waters met
Japanese, Chinese, Philippines,
Blacks, Whites, Hispanics.
And the many faces of children.
I looked to the heart of all these people
and touched briefly
the spirit within.
Exploring the depths of the Ocean
hoping I would find it there.
Discovering Buddhism
and the beginning
of a new departure.
Returning home to
College, books, philosophers,
and teachers.
Exploring the heights of mountains
and snowcapped peaks.
My heart led me
to culture festivals
The people of Los Angelus, San Diego,
Philadelphia, Washington DC.
New York, Chicago, and Hawaii.
Finally traveling to
where fifty countries gathered
and many cultures met.
Where ever I traveled
I heard the same voice
in the heart of people.
Thirty years old
and a new departure
A journey within
Into the deep unknown.
Someone warned me
“Don’t go in there
for you may never return.”
But the explorer knows
that you must travel
and take the risk.
And it was dark
darker than the blackest night
But beyond the journey of many years
and the fear of darkness
is a bright light
a radiant light
that cuts through all darkness.
And I had found it!
For it was always there.
An explorer
Seeking the possibilities
of sharing the life blood of the Universe
as it flows through my veins
into the vast pool of community.
Seeking the possibilities of sharing
nature, community, and spirit
in respectful interaction.
Seeking joy and laughter
in a world often troubled with fear.
Seeking the possibility
of the light of love
unfolding each moment.
Possibilities of a new departure
Each moment
a new beginning.
Work with Chuck
If you would like to improve the way your organization operates or the dynamics of your work group, contact Chuck for a no-cost consultation.
Subscribe
Subscribe to our RSS feed to keep up-to-date whenever a new post is made.
Subscribe via email
You can also enter your email address below to receive new blog posts in your email:
Delivered by FeedBurner
Browse Archives
Browse Categories
- A Full List of Postings
- Appreciation
- Community
- Courage
- Diversity
- Initiative
- Leadership
- Listening
- Work Life